Exercising parental authority

By Fr. ROY CIMAGALA, roycimagala@gmail.com
March 4, 2013

“…big sectors in society today, especially those influenced by leftist and Godless ideologies, consider authority as simply originating from them.”

Exercising authority is always both a delicate and rewarding duty. This is especially so when done toward growing children. That’s where one’s integrity and the authenticity of his love, with its usual demand for sacrifice, can be shown, as well as developed.

That’s because it’s in the home, living with the children 24/7, where the battlefront of this exercise is located. In other aspects of our life, as in our profession, social or political life, the exercise of authority can be intermittent and can easily be delegated to others. Not quite so in the family, with children still growing up.

We, of course, know that the power and authority we may have over the others is always a participation of the authority of God. And such authority should be exercised with God’s will always in mind.

That’s what St. Paul clarified. In his letter to the Romans, he said, “There is no power but from God, and those that are, are ordained of God.” (13,1) We need to be clear about this, because many times we can feel that the authority we wield is simply ours.

Or that our authority comes from us individually or personally, or from among ourselves through some consensus, and that it can be used to pursue solely our own goals and designs.

This point has to be brought out because big sectors in society today, especially those influenced by leftist and Godless ideologies, consider authority as simply originating from them.

They confuse the divine beginning and end of authority with the mechanics of who to assign it among ourselves, what its coverage is, how to exercise it, etc., all of which can be decided among ourselves.

Of course, in the context of the family, parental authority is easily recognized by the children. No need to figure it out through some election or other screening processes. What is to be kept in mind more is that this parental authority be maintained and done properly.

But how can we do this? I suppose that first of all we have to be reminded that power and authority has to be used as an expression of love, shown in deeds of service, and not regarded as an entitlement to some privilege or advantage over the others.

Christ himself warned his disciples about this. He said: “You know that the princes of the Gentiles lord it over them, and they that are greater exercise power upon them.

“It shall not be so among you. But whoever will be the greater among you, let him be your minister, and he that will be first among you, shall be your servant, even as the Son of Man has not come to be served but to serve...” (Mt 20,25-27)

In the context of the family, the parental authority can be done well if it is exercised to give the children the basic equipment to become better persons and ultimately, better children of God.

This can happen if the parents can show by consistent example to their children that they are happy with their own lives that are dedicated in pursuit of the love of God in all aspects of their lives.

Besides that, they should exercise their authority with due respect and an unconditional love for their children, treating them as they are but slowly molding them to be good persons and children of God.

This is how the parents can gain their children’s trust and confidence in an increasingly meaningful way. Children are usually observant of their parents and tend to imitate them even automatically.

If they see their parents praying and how that prayer is helping their parents, making them happy and at the same time able to cope with all the challenges of life, then the children will just develop a love for prayer and the a love for cultivating a life of faith and hope.

How parents react to the different events and circumstances of life, both good and bad, happy and sad, is also how the children will learn to react in similar events and circumstances.

That’s why parents really have to spend time with the children. They should see to it that they organize their life, especially in the aspect of their profession and other social obligations, such that the quality time with the children is not compromised.