Parental duties

By Fr. ROY CIMAGALA, roycimagala@gmail.com
September 25, 2013

IT doesn’t do us harm if from time to time we remind ourselves of certain basic duties. Given the rapid flow of events nowadays, chances are high that even the most fundamental responsibilities are taken for granted.

Among these duties are those of parents toward their children. Truth is a number of problems are sprouting nowadays whose causes can be traced to a certain extent to parental neglect.

These problems, of course, vary according to the circumstances of the families and parents. I have seen “habal-habal” and jeepney drivers, for example, bringing little children and even infants in their vehicles. I imagine it’s because the poor fellows do not have anyone else to leave their little children in the house when they do their work.

Among middle-class families, I have also seen cases where the parents are out of the house the whole day, presumably working hard for the family, but without spending time with the children. As a result, many of these children grow unsupervised and likely end up wayward.

As to the well-to-do families, there is a tendency to spoil the children who are given practically everything to satisfy their most ridiculous whims and caprices. The poor kids end up being soft and yet burning with inordinate desires and ambitions.

The problems are many indeed. So we just have to remind ourselves of basic truths that actually are very beautiful to consider and are also practicable, if only to more effectively address these problems.

Parents, to be sure, have to be keenly aware that they are the first and direct link between God and their children. It’s through them that a human person, a child of God is brought into existence.

As such, they have to be always conscious of their God-given mission as parents. They cannot constrict the understanding of their parenthood by restricting it to its merely natural basis, which in the last analysis would always point to God as the creator and lawgiver of the nature of parenthood.

They have to have the mind of God always when dealing with their children. We have to remember that God always intervenes in the lives of everyone, and he uses us as human instruments in that abiding divine intervention in our life. And parents are one of these human instruments he uses to reach out to children.

Parents, of course, take care of their children in their basic needs – physical, emotional, educational, social, etc. More than these, they are the first educators of their children, since parenthood is not simply a matter of begetting children but also a duty of bringing up their children to be mature persons and children of God.

They instill in their children not only the human values and virtues but also nurture the spiritual life, the piety, life of prayer, faith, charity, etc. of their children. In the hierarchy of parental duties, these that refer more to the spiritual and moral life of the children possess greater importance.

For this, parents should deal with their children with a lot of affection and understanding, but without compromising the need for discipline which children are always in need of, and much less neglect their duty to educate their children in the faith and morals.

Parents should therefore realize that they have to be role models to their children 24/7. That’s why they need to be spiritually and morally strong and vibrant, always realizing the need for continuing spiritual struggle and renewal, since our human condition is hounded also by human weaknesses, temptations and sin.

And without compromising their parental authority over their children, but rather enhancing it, parents should know how to be friends to their children, always winning their trust. They should be able to enter into the minds and hearts of their children to help them in the more important aspect of the children’s inner spiritual growth.

They have to spend time with their children, and practices and traditions should be created in the family that foster family togetherness and unity, as well as mutual care and concern for one another in the family.

When signs of insensitivity to the needs of others, habitual laziness and idleness and inability to fulfill tasks reasonably can be observed in children, parents should not hesitate to give the appropriate discipline. This is a matter of genuine love.